When you think of a muslim what comes to your mind first? A modest woman in a hijab? A man with a beard? Sunday school, mosques, exotic foods? Men and Women within a close-knit community, with a conservative look to match their conservative morals?

I wouldn't really blame you because along with the representation we get in media, this is the image many muslims choose to peddle amongst themselves as well as to non-muslims. The reality is Muslims are simply followers of the religion of Islam. A muslim can be anyone and look like anything. So why is it that when a muslim dresses a bit more risqué, or has a non-traditional look or morals, the first people to 'call them out' are their fellow muslim peers. The "haram police" as they are called, is essentially slang for a good for nothing groups of ASSHOLES who go around trying to shame and police muslims (mainly muslim women, as well as lgbt muslims) on social media. A muslim woman in a short skirt? "Haha, whore you're going to hell". A muslim man with a boyfriend? "Disgusting, you'll burn in hell". A muslim with colorful hair or alternative clothing? "Hell". Awful I know. As if regular criticism wasn't enough, you have fellow muslims trolling you too? Trash.

But in all actuality, the haram police exists off the internet too. We can find them within our mosques, snickering and sneering when a girl has her bangs poking out of her hijab, or at school, side eyeing and gossiping when they see a muslim with a pride flag pin, and even within our own homes, when our parents own parents don't want us to wear a cute pair of shorts because "What if our friends call you a whore". The concept of shame and using it to control others is very prominent within the muslim community. I'm sure it is in others as well, but my experience is within here. From a young age my parents conditioned me to always care what people think, to never stand out from the crowd, always make sure I keep my head down and blend in as to not draw negative attention. The absolute WORST thing I could do, is bring shame upon myself, thus automatically extending it to shame upon our family name.

In many other muslim households this idea of shame, and letting people know what they are doing is shameful, truly runs deep within muslim culture. The second you stray away, clothes, makeup, interests, ANYTHING, you become a victim of intense scrutiny, from the people who are supposed to accept you the most. Myself, being a muslim, being gender fluid, having colorful hair, wearing shorts skirts and dresses...immediately am distanced from the muslim community...simply because of the way I look. "You can't be muslim, look at your hair" "No practicing muslim would ever dress like that" "Ew umm...why are you saying you're lgbt? You definitely can't be muslim..." This is the bullshit I've dealt from my classmates, my 'friends' and even my own family. And they wonder why I used to be ashamed to tell people I was a Muslim.

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