I learned a new meaning for the word 'flake' or 'flaking' from a podcast about friendship led by Julie Beck a senior editor for the magazine The Atlantic.
Flaking out on an arrangement- illustration from Wiki How
Flaking is when a friend has an arrangement to meet you or do something with you and backs out because they don't feel up to it or...... they are too tired or........ they don't even bother to give an excuse.
At the last minute, they just say "I don't think it will work out."
Of course, there are legitimate reasons for reneging on a commitment- your childcare suddenly falls through, there is a family crisis or your car breaks down. That's not 'flaking.'
Julie Beck is a senior editor for The Atlantic and the creator of a series called The Friendship Files for the magazine
In the podcast, Julie, along with her guests suggests 'flaking' has become a lot more common and accepted than it used to be.
One reason may be that people have more of a tendency now to feel they have a right to protect their energy so if they feel a social engagement with a friend might stretch their energy that's a justification for 'flaking' out at the last minute. It is almost as if "I just don't feel like it" is enough of an excuse.
Flaking can be tough on relationships- photo from Wiki How
I don't think I 'flake' very often but one thing I do that is similar is to say to people, "We have to have lunch sometime" or "We should go for coffee sometime" or "We need to have you over for dinner sometime" and then I don't follow through or I forget.
That's a kind of 'flaking' too and I need to either stop saying it or find ways to make sure I follow through when I do.
Other posts..........
Are Men and Women's Friendships Different?
My Mom's Friends
Is It Good To Be Lazy?
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