by Kevin Burton
I am passing this list of probably true-life anecdotes for the sake of humor – I think.
I got it of from a fellow alum of the Ohio State School for the Blind. There was no attribution so I am not sure who compiled them. These short notes have me laughing and have me scared. Here they are:
I was at the checkout of a local Walmart. The cashier rang up $46.64 charges. I gave her a fifty-dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64.
I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and she returned the money again.
I gave her the money back -- same scenario!
I departed the store with the $46.64. They Walk Among Us!…
I walked into a Starbucks with a
buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' "They're already buy-one- get-one-free," she said, "so I guess they're both free."
She handed me my free lattes, and I walked out the door. They Walk Among Us! .....
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends, when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and asked, "Where?" They Walk Among Us! .....
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north; because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for some time; she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff."
They Walk Among Us!! .....
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open.
I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
They Walk Among Us! .....
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us! .....
My friends and I went out to buy beer and noticed that the cases were discounted 10 percent. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10 percent and gave us a 20% discount.
They Walk Among Us! .....
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional, and I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
So I replied, "No Ma'am. The Pilot told us we're circling the airport, third in line to land." They Walk Among Us! .....
While working at a pizza place, I observed
a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone, and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into four pieces or six.
He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into four pieces.
I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat six pieces."
Yep, they walk among us.... bless their hearts.
These little stories are easy to laugh at because they all go in the narrator's favor. But in real life, at least my real life, it's just as common for people to mess up in their own favor. And there is no talking to them!
But the scary part is, they don't just walk among us. They vote.
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