Learning—and Obeying—the Pandemic Rules

Jamie

Dec 2

So I go into Murfreesboro Medical Clinic for an appointment. There's a large, two-story lobby and at the end, three elevators. There is also a group of Masters of the Universe (i.e., men wearing suits, all business-like) clustering closely, yakking with each other all hail fellow well met. Hey, dude!

While I am answering the "have you been exposed" questions, the MOTU (there are six or seven of them) move down until they are now clustered in front of the elevators. When a door opens, it's the one they're standing in front of, but they ignore it, keep talking. Meanwhile, I do need to go up, so I say, "Excuse me" and one of them moves and I get on the elevator.

Before the door can close, though, the MOTU, as a group, suddenly realize they, too, need to go up! When the third and fourth board—there's a sign outside and inside the elevator that says "Only TWO mortals at a time in the elevator"—I say "If all of y'all are getting on, I'll wait for the next one" and I walk off the elevator and distance myself from the group of morons. Er, MOTU.

So then one steps off and says, "Here, you go on! I'm sorry."

(sigh) I move a little farther away from them and hold out my arm. "No, y'all go." They think I'm [annoyed? upset? hurt?] because I wanted to go first when in actuality I just don't want to be anywhere close to them, since it's clear they don't know much about COVID. I'm wearing a mask. They aren't.

Now we're at a standoff, so I use my Mom voice. "No. GO."

They all get on the elevator, all six or seven of them now, and I stand there looking at two other women, each a good ten feet away from me and each other. All of us are wide-eyed. I say, "Men!" and shake my head, and they both shake their heads.