This guy crossed my online path a couple days ago (we have always had mutual friends), and I decided to have a look at …The Kenny H. Saga, eight years later.
We worked for the same company, thirty years ago, shortly after my divorce. Back then I still couldn't open my mouth in Tennessee without people noticing I hadn't grown up here. True, I'd mostly grown up in California, and my verbal accent was generated there … but I'd gone to kindergarten in Middle Tennessee, and my father's family history in Middle Tennessee goes back to before the Civil War. Kenny wouldn't have known any of this, though, and, again, it would not have been evident when we worked in the same office in the '90s, when everyone knew "you ain't from around here, are you?"
To be frank, that's such an unfriendly question, Southern rednecks. Try rephrasing.
But here's the story. I hadn't physically seen Kenny in years. We'd had very little social media contact. Every once in a while he'd show up, leave a comment or a "like" and that would be it.
On this particular day in 2016, I left an entry on Facebook:
Gerry and I have been talking about little trips to take later this year—just, say, a long weekend, and Charleston came up. But I am editing a detailed history of the place … and it just saddens me. That said, I realize we cannot change the past. (sigh)
I am affected by and learn from books I edit a lot. I am a person who enjoys learning. That week I was working on a book built around the Charleston church shooting, but it was so much more, going back literally to the colonial era into Charleston's history. And it made me sad.
Within minutes, a friend of mine, Evelyn (born and raised in Louisiana, career in NYC, retired in Florida), had commented, "Sad to say, *most* Southern U.S. history is sad. Also infuriating." She added a sad emoji.
I answered that, "Yes, Gerry pointed that out. But in Charleston they didn't even bother to hide it. (sigh)" … and then I went off to have lunch with a couple of editor friends. This next bit—and it's quite a conversation—happened while I was gone. Thank goodness Gerry was here.
• • •
Kenny responded to Evelyn:
And as for someone who was raised in the south and has lived in the north for the past 15 years, I find the remark about the south ignorant. Both sides have their great things as well as their bad things.
Kenny:
And to say to Evelyn, please stay where you are and don't visit the south.
Marina:
No one said the South is bad. No one said "the north" is better. Becoming upset and bringing up old ideas just shows how ingrained such thoughts are in peoples' minds. Nothing ignorant was said either, it's true that much of the past in the South is sad and infuriating, but that comment has nothing to do with any mention of anywhere else. It would be relevant if anyone had mentioned anywhere else, but no one did. To try and show people that a place is "good," it's best to avoid attacking someone else and telling them to never go there.
Kenny:
And I don't need a lesson from you Marina.
Marina:
Nope you don't, no one here needed a lesson. Conversations go in as many ways as there are people to participate, and no one can make anyone else learn from it if they aren't willing. Have a great day. 🙂
Kenny:
If you or this conservation had a lesson to learn, I would be open to it. It didn't. You have a great day as well.
Gerry:
Facebook is a wonderful facility for people who like to bully.
Kenny:
So I'm a bully by expressing my opinion? Or for defending the part of the country I was raised? From what I understand, you just moved to the US and the south, I think you have some things to learn. Start by Learning the definition of bully.
Gerry:
If the cap fits.
Kenny:
Well we wouldn't want your wife to be friends with a bully now would we? I can rectify that problem.
Gerry:
LOL
Kenny:
You're an asshole too.
Gerry:
I guess one doesn't have to dig too far to find a person's real character.
• • •
At this point Kenny unfriended me and left the conversation, presumably to stew. (I have no idea why I can still see it here in 2024, but I'm delighted that I can document it.) Anyway, the conversation went on without him.
• • •
Marina:
I for one learned a lot from this conversation … Some people are ticking time bombs, best to stay clear. 😕
Evelyn:
Jamie, I have blocked your bullying friend Kenny Whatshisname, so he won't see this post. But if you feel like it, you can tell him that I was born and raised in Louisiana. Not that it's any of his business, but he's *so damn sure* I don't know what I'm talking about. Ha!
Me:
Evelyn, I've been out for a couple hours and just saw this conflagration. A part of me is amused (we'll discuss further) and a part of me is sickened. My first thought was he must be having a really bad day, although real grownups don't take their bad days out on people they don't know on Facebook. More later.
Me:
Marina, my apologies to you, too, honey. xoxox
Evelyn:
Jamie -- No problems. The e-world is full of people like that. I have not one you-know-what to give. 😉 LOL
Me:
Gerry just said to me "I've never seen Evelyn or Marina say anything bad to anyone, they're always polite!"
Evelyn:
Because we were raised to have manners. 😉
Me:
Anyway, no matter—Kenny has unfriended me! And all this happened while I was out having a good time!
Gerry:
Never leave your Irish husband in charge of Facebook.
Evelyn:
Well, *if* you miss his friendship, then I apologize that my comment apparently was the spark that made him burst into flame.
Me:
Evelyn, LOL!!! Naw, there is no problem here.
Evelyn:
IMHO, Gerry Hampson wins Facebook, today. 🙂
Me:
Gerry, I trust my Irish husband implicitly.
Marina:
No apology needed, you cannot predict how anyone will act, and I felt very sorry for getting into it on your page with a person known to you.
Barbara:
Wow! You all did a fine job responding to this "gentleman." Special call out to Gerry.
Roz:
Evelyn, Marina, Gerry—what shining examples of courtesy you have all shown in the face of very poor behaviour. You should all be very proud of yourselves.
Nancy:
Wow!!! Bless His Heart!! … As we say in the South …
Sallie:
Gerry, I adore you! You are freaking awesome.
• • •
Sometime during all of this, I came home from the aforementioned lunch, and posted a second time:
Goodness! A gal goes out for a couple hours to have lunch with friends (enjoyed it!), and Facebook explodes while she's gone. (sigh)
That was a sarcastic sigh. Gerry had directed me to the mess (and apologized) as soon as I walked in the door, but I laughed out loud as I read it. No apology necessary, honey!
In closure: Kenny always was an asshole and behaved badly—though not this badly—at the company we both worked for. Later he left the company, moved to NYC (that's where he was when this "dialogue" occurred) and seemed happier from what I saw on social media and heard from friends who kept in touch with him in person. But he was certainly not happy on this day, Jan 5, 2016, when he let loose on my husband and friends. I can't believe he still gets work because he truly is such an asshole.
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