This past Sunday was Father's Day. I had a very full day from preaching at my dad's church's youth service and then driving to my parents' house thirty miles away. I had dinner with my family - a steak dinner.
I don't know your feelings about towards your father. Perhaps you never knew your biological father. For all intents and purposes, he was just a donor of DNA material. He could have left when you were very young or was taken away by war or disease. Or becoming more common - a child conceived from an adulterous union where the paternity could never be acknowledged.
The father figure who raised you was perhaps an uncle, a grandfather, or a stepfather. Because blended families are very common, your stepfather could have adopted you and for the rest of your childhood, you called him "dad".
Perhaps your father was distant and even abusive. Many men are unfortunately like that. All they know was their father and disciplined you the way he was disciplined. Maybe the abuse was only verbal, never physical, but it was still hurtful and wrong. The moment you gained your majority, you moved out of that toxic environment and vowed that you would never be like your father.
Last year, I read Lindsay Gibson's book: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. This book was super helpful for me and my friends who had strained relationships with parents. While your parents' bad behavior should never be excused, it makes such behavior understandable. And perhaps one day, forgiven. You cannot heal if you continue to hold them to unrealistic standards.
On Father's Day, as I was waking up, the alarm radio was tuned to a Christian station and the message was about God the Father. The pastor was saying that sadly, our experience with our earthly father colors our view of God the Heavenly Father. If your father was distant, then to you, God is distant. If your father was harsh and a disciplinarian, then to you, God is harsh and a disciplinarian.
During my daily Bible reading, the passage was on Matthew 7:9-11. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said:
You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.
Here, Jesus describes God the Father's relationship to Christians. Christians can be just like everyone else - coming from horrible families of origin. Jesus says God will flip the script. He wants to bless his children and to be with them. He wants to hold us and steady us as we learn to walk. He won't give us stones when we ask for bread.
Make no mistake: the Christian life is hard. Yet God promises to stay with us.
Whatever you think of Disney, the Mandalorian got it right about fatherhood. True fatherhood might be politically incorrect to feminists, but it does not negate the truth. Fathers are designed to raise children and to stay with them until they are of age. Not just they are of age, but able to handle themselves.
My father gave me good training about certain matters - the value of hard work, education and reading, being self-disciplined, how to shoot guns, how to set a western formal dining table setting, and and for that I am grateful. Yet our relationship has been difficult at times and it does affect how I view God the Father. God has been patient and slowly revealed more of His heart to me.
I don't always listen and do stray often but when I do return, God is faithful to continue to be with me.
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