Why Ariane Sherine wrote a book on troubled and talented Sinéad O’Connor
Ariane Sherine is an author, journalist and songwriter/performer... The Real Sinéad O'Connor is out today, published by White Owl Books. Last year, I got the chance to pitch a biography of anyone who was no longer living. I chose the i…
Ariane Sherine is an author, journalist and songwriter/performer...The Real Sinéad O'Connor is out today, published by White Owl Books.Ariane Sherine writes:
Last year, I got the chance to pitch a biography of anyone who was no longer living. I chose the iconic singer Sinéad O'Connor. She had sadly passed away only weeks previously, at the age of just 56, and her death was subsequently revealed to be from natural causes.
I had read her obituaries and, though I'm not a celebrity, I had been surprised by how much we had in common.
We had both been abused as children by a violent parent. We both took great solace in music during our brutal childhoods.
We were both diagnosed with borderline personality disorder as a result of child abuse. We made multiple suicide attempts and suffered poor mental health throughout our lives - and were both very slight, petite women who were put on drugs for our mental health conditions later in lives, which caused us to gain a lot of weight.
We both fell pregnant at a relatively early age - she was 19, I was 24. I had an abortion, Sinéad had two with following pregnancies, and we both suffered the emotional pain of these. We felt an overwhelmingly deep love for our kids, and were single mums to them. We shared custody with their dads, who were quite a bit older than us.
Sinéad at the 'Music in My Head' festival in The Hague, 2008 (Photograph: Leah Pritchard)
We both had dozens of relationships, and, coincidentally, a Las Vegas wedding at the same chapel, yet neither of us managed to hold down a marriage or relationship for any significant length of time.
We were both prone to over-sharing and had a passion for activism: when you're abused as a child and no one steps in and does anything – when your pain and the horror you went through isn't even acknowledged by anyone, let alone stopped or apologised for, and your families don't want you to speak about it – then you want to make as much noise as possible about the issue, in order that no one can suffer that kind of childhood again. You're horrified and traumatised by the lack of acknowledgement and action on your behalf.
You also crave attention and success to compensate for the lack of attention and sense of failure at being told by your abusive parent that you are worthless. That small child who wasn't listened to is now going to be listened to by the whole world.
I can also empathise hugely with Sinéad's breakdown after offending the Catholic church on Saturday Night Live by ripping up a picture of the Pope.
In 2009, I created an atheist advertising campaign which went global, with the slogan THERE'S PROBABLY NO GOD. NOW STOP WORRYING AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE running on buses across the Western world. After the hate mail I received from Christians, I became suicidal and didn't write publicly for three-and-a-half years.
Feeling like the enemy of the whole world, even if in reality it's just a vocal minority, completely destroys your mental health, so it's unsurprising that Sinéad suffered hugely.
She was about as far from being an atheist as you can get, but this makes sense: traumatic experiences either push you towards faith or turn you off it completely. She was understandably always searching for answers and solace.
So when I was given the chance to pitch a book about a public figure from the past, and was told I could suggest anyone from history, Sinéad was the person whose life I felt most connected to and with whom I could empathise most deeply – though she went through much worse things than I did. Telling her story has been extremely moving and a huge honour.
Sinéad in 2013
Sinéad was a badass who lived her truth and pushed back on pressure to do things she didn't want to. When her record company asked her to grow her hair long, dress more femininely and wear short skirts, she shaved her head and wore baggy trousers and combat boots. This made her look far more iconic and memorable than if she'd done as they suggested.
When she fell pregnant at 19 while recording her debut album, the record company sent her to their doctor, who told her she owed it to the record company to have an abortion as they'd spent £100,000 on her album. She refused, and kept the baby.
All this serious stuff makes her sound humourless, but she wasn't at all - she could be hilariously funny. When Piers Morgan asked her to do his show Piers Morgan Uncensored after the death of her son Shane in 2023, she replied:
Hi Piers,
I think it's best I don't do your show because of the irresistible temptation I would have to point out that you're dying to be balls deep in Meghan Markle so bad it's driven you crazy, and that your dislike of Prince Harry is down to him being balls deep in her ten times a day. It being the case that if you were ever to get near her, which would never happen, you'd last ten seconds; and that would be that for ten days.
Sincerely,
Sinéad O'Connor
She also, much like me, regularly tweeted filth and told the world how sexually frustrated she was, saying things like, "A good nine-incher up the chocolate wiz-way would probably take my mind off [my frustration]"...(While, at the same stage of her life, being ordained as a priest!)
Her personality and life events often overshadowed her music, but this was also incredible - raw and true and bare. Just listen to this underrated track from 2014, 8 Good Reasons, and see for yourself.
She was an amazing human, and the world is poorer for her not being in it.
Sinéad O'Connor, 8th December 1966 - 26th July 2023, RIP.
The Real Sinéad O'Connor is published today, 30th June 2024, and is available here.
Sinead O'Connor at the Cambridge Folk Festival in 2014
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