How is love quantified? Are all relationships essentially transactional, or is there also a love that is purer and transcends material reward? The hero of How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies (หลานม่า) seems unable to look beyond literal acts of compensation when it comes to his familial relations, but is eventually awaked to a deeper, less selfish kind of love when looking after his grandmother after she is diagnosed with stage four cancer.
M only really does this because he has a friend who inherited a fortune from her grandfather after becoming his carer when no one else would. The question of elder care is perhaps increasingly relevant and speaks to a break down in notions of familial responsibility with youngsters unwilling to care for their elderly relatives while simultaneously hinting at their own despair and frustration in feeling unable to acquire such wealth for themselves leaving them dependent on the generosity of the older generation. M originally asks for money in exchange for visiting his grandmother, Amah, and rarely attended family events though later becomes obsessed with familial hierarchy forever asking Amah who her number one family member is hoping that she will say him.
Later Amah says she doesn't know who she loves the most, but it's her daughter she most wants to be with. M's mother is the most involved in Amah's life of all the siblings but is never really in running for the inheritance, nor does she really think about it. As she tells Amah, "sons inherit assets, daughters inherit cancer," both making a joke about the heredity nature of the disease and the fact that care is almost exclusively performed by women. Amah too has suffered all her life under oppressively patriarchal social codes. She pays a visit to an older brother who has become very wealthy thanks to property investments built on the back of his inheritance and asks for her fair share of her parents' money but is told where to go. Her brother treats her with contempt and defends the practice of leaving money only to sons on the basis that Amah's share would have gone to her husband, which is to say leaving the family, though as Amah points out her marriage was arranged so if her brother disapproves of him it their parents' fault.
M's oldest uncle Kiang makes a similar complaint, that he feels they think of his wife as a member the family while crassly asking about Amah's house deeds while she's still in hospital. Yet to M, her love seems obscure. Her can't figure out wh she's so forgiving of her younger Soei who seems to have made a mess of his life and actively steals from her. One Sunday, the day when the siblings would all come for lunch, grandma sits and waits but later concedes that she likes it better when Soei doesn't visit because that must mean he's doing okay. On a day trip to a temple that is really mini battle between M and Kiang who wants Amah to come live with him so he'll get the inheritance, no one thinks to make a wish for her. M then writes that he hopes she wins the lottery which is ironically also selfish as he's hoping to inherit her estate.
When Amah leaves the house to someone else, M is annoyed and abandons his position as a caretaker complaining that it doesn't seem fair that the person who has done the most for her has not been rewarded. But later he perhaps comes to understand Amah's reasoning and that that isn't how it works. She tells him that all jobs are equal if you do them well and buys him a white shirt to help him get one, a shirt he eventually wears on a different occasion, hoping that he'll make something of himself and find a sense purpose. Eventually, he forgets about the financial gain and realises that Amah was trying to give each of them what they most needed, displaying a more selfless kind of love in the way that she continued to care for those who seemingly gave her little thought or of what she most wanted which was simply time. Deeply moving, the film has a rare warmth along an essential melancholy for things only understood long after they have passed.
How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies screened as part of this year's New York Asian Film Festival.
International trailer (English subtitles)
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