This year, as well as most of 2023, has been an odd one. I lost my motivation. I stopped wanting to make things. My creativity dried up. Part of the problem is that, when you turn a creative hobby into a sellable thing, when it doesn't sell, you can lose your love of the simple joy of creating.
I think mine has been a motivational issue from many perspectives. Yes, there's been the money issue, caused by the physical and mental exhaustion of a pandemic and now a cost of living crisis which never seems to end. I've been working hard over the last couple of years to address that. And there have been all the other worldwide problems that continue to chip away at us. But I also think my work space has been a problem, more so than I had realised.
Last week I was watching a YouTube channel and I saw a creative studio I envied. I saw space, tables, a proper work room. I struggle, of course, as I live in rented accommodation. I don't get to pick and choose what I do with the space in which I live and work. But I realised I could have a rejig of sorts. And now, post a very belated spring clean and after a restructuring of the space I have available, I have created more room, and a standing table I can use for small amounts of pattern and fabric cutting as well as somewhere I can keep my overlocker permanently.
It seems to have cleared my mind and I have started designing again, rummaging enthusiastically through my fabric supplies for inspiration. I made two dresses in just a few days. Suddenly things seem, well, different. The other day I read an article in The Guardian by Elle Hunt called 'Why do I feel like I'm stuck in a 'waiting room', hoping for my life to get started?' and whilst my experiences are different in some ways, I feel like I have been in the same waiting room.
I felt like a frustrating aspect to my business had been lifted - my own mental block. And it shifted enough that I could see the joy again, in what I do. I still don't know if I am going to make money again any time soon, but I have started a new range of dresses more likely to appeal to the every day, to a different type of customer. To one who wants a different type of garment. I hope it's the answer I was looking for. At least I feel productive and that has given me the impetus to want to do more. I keep stopping in the doorway of my revamped studio and just looking at it. It feels great. I haven't felt like that in a while.
At the same time I have started hiking and adjusting my diet as well. Something flicked a switch in me. Was it just my time? Or was it the simple act of refreshing a work space, or walking 5 miles across a Lancashire moor that started it off? I don't know, but whatever kick started it, long may it continue.
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