In between working on novels and other writing, ideas pop into my head. My desk is littered with index cards of ideas, quotes, random thoughts, and musings.
Sometimes one persists, somehow finding its way to the top of the pile. This is one of those ideas morphed into a short story.
I hope you enjoy.
The Last Book
"Oh, look here's another book you ordered," my wife said, a bit of a smirk on her face. "What this, the third, no wait, the fourth one this week?"
I looked up from reading. "Not me, I didn't order it. Must be you this time."
She took two steps toward me, turning the Amazon package so the label faced me.
"Hmm, really. I didn't buy it."
"Why do I not believe you," she said, smiling as she tossed the package on the table. "You'll never live long enough to read the books you already bought."
"Maybe it will keep me alive until I do," I answered, grabbing and opening it. Hey, nothing I love more than a surprise book.
Reaching in I pulled the hardcover out of the sleeve. A bit surprised since I almost never buy hardcover books, or even printed ones since I prefer to always have my Kindle with me, but a book is a book.
The Last Book: A Life in Perspective by Amun Ra. The title and author were unfamiliar. I flipped it over; the first few sentences of the blurb told me it wasn't something I would have ordered.
"So, where does it go in the reading order, number 4,341?" my wife said, hands on hips waiting for my confession to another purchase.
"Didn't order it, look." I held up my cell with the last several orders from Amazon showing. "Wasn't me. Show me yours," I smiled.
She laughed. "I didn't buy it. They probably sent it because they knew you'd just buy it even if you didn't order it. You're like a hoarder for books. They should do a show about you."
"Yeah, well not this time. This is going back." I put it back in the envelope, resealed it, crossed out my address and wrote 'refused, return to sender' on the outside. "I'll throw it in the mailbox in the morning, smartass."
She laughed. "I'll take it, I have to run out anyway and I want to make sure you don't just make believe you returned it."
"Suit yourself."
About a week later, I was sorting through email and a notice from the library caught my eye. "Book on hold available" with a link to the download highlighted.
"Hey, did you put a book on hold from the library?" I asked my wife.
"Nope, still reading the last one. I don't just sit around reading all day like you, you know. I have things to do around here."
"Ha, ha. You sure you didn't put another on hold for your book club, or should I say your excuse to drink wine and make believe we read club?"
"A riot, a real riot. You're just jealous because none of your friends can read."
I shook my head. But curiosity made me click the link. It could have been me. I've tried to use the library to read some books, but my compulsion to own them usually overwhelms my good intentions. Besides, as a writer it is a bit disheartening when people get to read your book for free."
Clicking the link, up came the download acknowledgment and warnings on copyright issues no one reads. I clicked past it and the cover of the book appeared on the screen.
The Last Book: A Life in Perspective by Amun Ra
Okay, now this was getting weird. I immediately suspected my wife or daughter. They take great delight in playing with my mind. It had to be one of them and I wasn't gonna let it go. I'd find out who'd done this and seek my revenge.
"What book did you place a hold on, Mr. Oops it was me?" my wife asked.
"The Last Book: A Life in Perspective by Amun Ra," I said, watching for any telltale give away of her guilt.
Nothing.
"Isn't that the one you ordered from Amazon?"
"I did not order it!" I said, shaking my head. "I'm onto you two. This is a little game with you and Angie, isn't it? Little mind games, eh? We'll see. I can play this game too, you know."
Kiera just smiled. "No idea what you're talking about. Nooooo idea."
"Yeah, right," I mumbled, "we'll see about that."
"What'd you say?"
"Nothing, dear. Not a thing." I clicked past the download link and cancelled the hold. Scrolling down to the contact us section on the library page, I brought up the chat link.
"Good afternoon, and welcome to the library help desk. In a few words, please tell me the issue so I can direct you to the proper resource."
"Account issue," I typed.
"I can help you with that. What is the problem?"
"Someone used my account to put a book on hold, can you see when this was done?"
'You wish to put a book on hold?"
Arrrrggg. "No, I want to know when my account was last used to put a book on hold."
"Hmm, I'm not sure. Please call our main number for a librarian to assist you. Goodbye."
Chat ended.
Well, that was useless. I dialed the main library number.
"Hello and thank you for calling the Queen Creek Public Library. Please listen to our menu as the selection has changed."
When has it not ever changed? I thought.
"Press one for hours of operation. Press two to use our automated reservation system. Press three to speak to a librarian…"
I almost put my finger through the screen mashing the number three.
"Queen Creek Public Library, this is Roberta. How may I help you?"
"Hi Roberta, my name is Joe Meadows. I received a notice about a book on hold available for download and I…"
"Ah, well Joe the notice contains the link and instructions to download the book to your device."
I could almost hear her condescending smile over the phone.
"I understand that" I said, pausing so as not to scream 'I know how it works you idiot' realizing it would make me sound like a lunatic.
"My question is, I did not place the hold and I want to know how it ended up on my account."
"Hmm, that is strange. Can I have you County Library Card number?"
I gave her the number and heard a keyboard clicking in the background. "Mr. Meadows, I don't see any holds listed on your account in the last two months."
"Well, I have the email with the link on my phone. I could forward it to you."
"Okay, please send it to the email listed on the contact page and put account issue in the subject line. I'll be happy to research the problem."
"Thank you, Roberta. I'll do that."
Ending the call, I clicked my email link and scrolled through for the download notice. I couldn't find it. I didn't delete it that I recalled but I checked the delete folder, junk folder, every folder in my account.
Nothing.
"Hmm, that's weird."
"What's weird?" Kiera said.
"The email from the library is gone. I was gonna forward it to them to see if there was a problem with my account, but now I can't find it. Not in any folders or deleted file. Weird."
"You must have deleted it," she said.
"I didn't delete…ah never mind."
I sent an email to the library with my information and account number asking them to verify what was on my list. I was surprised to get a response within moments.
Dear Mr. Meadows, there is no record of you requesting a hold on any books for the past six months. Hope this answers your question. If there is a problem with the account, please stop in and we will create a new account for you.
"Library says they have no record of me putting a hold on any books."
"Maybe you read it wrong. Could be one of those AI generated ads that looks real."
"I guess, but I was pretty sure about what I read."
"You know, they say the mind it the second thing to go," circling her index finger around her ear and smiling.
"Funny, very funny. Ah well, no big deal I'm gonna go for a walk, wanna come with me?"
"I can't, Angie's coming by to go shopping. Should I pin your name and address on your shirt in case you get lost?"
"A damn comedian, you really missed your calling." I could still hear her chuckling as I headed out the door.
Popping in my earbuds, I brought up Audiobooks and started to listen.
"Now on Audiobooks, a compelling look at life and death from New York Times bestselling author, Amun Ra, The Last Book: A Life in Perspective."
I stopped dead in my tracks. What the hell? I looked at the phone, flipping through the books I'd downloaded. Not on the list. Now this was getting weird. Not listed as a download but queued up to play. Bizarre.
Okay, this is one of those tech glitches where you turn everything off and start over. Some confused database created links to things I don't want. I held the power button and waited for the "do you really want to power off" request to come through.
Yes, dammit, turn it off. That's why I pushed the damn button. I thought I was speaking to myself but the stares from bikers and walkers said otherwise.
"Phone is messed up," I said, waving it in the air to the passersby. But I doubt it assuaged their belief I was just another lunatic holding a cell phone that didn't even have service.
After the usual and annoying 'face doesn't match' (I wanted to scream it's the only face I got! But didn't need any more attention) I entered my passcode and was in.
For a moment, I hesitated over the Audiobook App logo, but then took the plunge.
"Welcome to Audiobooks" came the cheery voice and my list of downloads showed up absent any mention of The Last Book: A Life in Perspective. Clicking the resume button, I started to walk and settled in to listen to Being Mortal, but I did make a note to look up the author Amun Ra. You never know, I might decide to read the book.
*****
Two days later, on the way back from the store, I stopped to check the mail. And there it was, the large, padded envelope with my handwriting, 'refused, return to sender' crossed out and the word 'Reconsider' printed in bold indelible ink followed by the initials A.R.
I glanced around looking for hidden cameras. If this were the work of my wife and daughter, they'd upped their game. Well-played, I thought, well-played.
Then, a thought occurred to me. I used to belong to groups where authors would exchange books for feedback and constructive criticisms. Come to think of it, I also did some pre-release reading for small publication houses.
I bet they sent me the book in various formats. Not sure how the library was involved, but it seemed logical.
Let me check out this book, I thought, never know what you might find interesting. Tearing open the envelope, I began fanning through the front material, when something caught my eye.
On the main title page was an inscription.
To Joe Meadows, may this perspective give you comfort in the moments ahead. Amun Ra.
Comfort? I thought. Whenever I signed my books, I always put enjoy. Comfort was a bit, I don't know, weird. Comfort from what? Then, I wondered. Opening the audiobooks app, I clicked on the library. There was the book again.
Ah well, great time for another walk, I can finish my writing later.
*****
Chapter One: Beginnings and Endings
"All life begins with potentiality; all life ends with finality. What happens between our first and our final breath is the mystery we all experience one moment at a time. Each of us lives alone within ourselves yet together with others…"
Oh, great, another mystical, tapping into the power of the universe, new age nonsense book. Not what I really wanted to read. Not that some don't pose interesting questions, just not on my agenda now.
But for that promise I made to finish every book I start no matter how long it takes or how much it tortures my mind—one book took me fifty years and it wasn't the Bible or War and Peace—I'd drop this thing right now.
But I made a promise to myself.
"We all have two things in common. The universal experiences of every human; birth and death.
We arrive with the potential to thrive, but not always the opportunity. We die most often woefully unprepared for the inevitability. My words in the following pages are to help guide you, Joe, as death approaches."
"What the hell?" I yelled, yanking the earbuds out, not caring about drawing anyone's attention.
Then, reason reasserted itself. Ah, I get it, one of those experimental books customized to everyone. I'd read about books where you can pick the ending, sad, happy, tragic, this took it a step further.
The book was about me but not really. Just a clever marketing tool to sell more books. Brilliant. Imagine all those people who'd love to be the main character in Fifty Shades of Grey or some Nora Roberts novel or Harry Potter.
Slipping the earbuds back in, I hit play once again.
"Memories are the bookmarks of life. Some are like rewards, others like scars. Yours, Joe, are no different than every other person who came before you and will come after you.
But they are yours.
"From those first memories of the apartment on Robinson Avenue, to that German Shepard puppy you loved so much in the few short weeks of his life to exploring the woods in Cumberland, Rhode Island they all impressed themselves in directing the course of your life."
By this point I was no longer walking, just standing still oblivious to everything except the sound of the book in my head.
How was this possible? I mean, someone so inclined could find out enough about my life to create such a book—the question would be why? Yet this went far beyond that. Here was a stranger, this Amun Ra, telling my story as if he could read not just my thoughts but memories I hadn't recalled for years, decades.
"Every life endures disappointment, regrets, and failures. Every life experiences joys, accomplishments, successes. It is how one measures the totality of these, and most importantly how they impacted others, that offers a glimpse into the true picture of a life well lived or squandered.
"And while the beginning of life offers the most potential it bears the burden of inexperience. It is as the end approaches, when the experiences of life can offer their fullest support, that one can complete the journey with a sense of satisfaction and joy."
Regaining my wits, I turned toward home still listening to the words. Stories from my days in school, my time in the Air Force, years in the police department, many of which I'd long forgotten, were recounted and explored.
The narrative painted a picture of the currents of my life directed by things I never knew existed. Choices affecting unrelated things decades later. People met, opportunities offered and lost, or taken and enjoyed.
A retelling of my life as if I were watching a movie.
Turning the corner to the house, I was surprised to see several cars all parked in front. Some of them were familiar, others not so.
Hmm, it wondered, now what are they up to?
As I got the door, a uniformed police officer backed out. My wife stood, red eyed, just inside, nodding but silent at the officer's words.
"Again, ma'am I am sorry for your loss." He put on his uniform hat and walked right through me as if I wasn't there.
I shuddered in shock. Looking down to see if I was somehow disoriented. What was happening?
My wife started to close the door, and I reached out, hurrying forward. "Hey, what am I, invisible? What's going on?"
The door closed, but my momentum carried my right through it.
Oh man, this is a dream or a nightmare.
There on the couch was my daughter and the two next door neighbors. Outside, I could see my grandkids playing in the sandbox. My mind struggled to explain what my eyes saw.
"So, what happens now?" my wife said.
"Well, they've taken the body for an autopsy. After that, you can make arrangements for the funeral home. I'm so sorry this happened."
"What about the car that hit him?"
"An old lady. They think she had a heart attack. Dead at the scene as well."
My daughter wiped her eyes, then reached for a book on the table. "This one of dad's? I've never seen it before," turning the book over a few times, she read the title, The Last Book: A Life in Perspective by Amun Ra."
A smile crossed her face, then a laugh. It was contagious as my wife started to laugh as well. The neighbors were horrified to say the least.
"I'm sor, sorr, sorry," my wife stammered out. "But if you knew anything about my husband he'd be laughing right now as well. The Last Book! Man, did they ever get that right."
THE END (Sort of)
Author's note: Please don't draw any conclusions about my or anyone else's impending doom—although we never really know something is impending until after the fact, do we?
I've always been fascinated by what one might experience at the moment of death.
Not the moment preceding it, but once one is, to paraphrase the words of the lawyer and others in the Wizard of Oz,
"…morally, ethically, spiritually, physically, positively, absolutely, undeniably and reliably dead."
Religious explanations always seemed geared towards two purposes, comforting those still living and compelling adherence to certain tenets. It lacks the feeling of a real explanation.
Science, so far, cannot even define consciousness, let alone explain it. (Which is not an automatic endorsement of religious explanations)
So, it is left to one's imagination. Thus, this short story.
Keep this in mind, every book you read might be your last one. Make it a good one. I have suggestions if you need help picking your next (potentially, but hopefully not) last book.
Joe Broadmeadow
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